If you are ever unsure as to whether to designer of your child’s clothes actually has children or whether the person who created the protocol for the toy your darling plays with has any munchkins of his or her own, there is a fail safe test.

I can tell you without doubt that the following people (gee thanks) created certain child items having NO IDEA what they were setting us up for.

1. Buttons on baby clothes. HELLO!! Not only did you put 30 million of the smallest buttons known to man (really, did you lift these from the Oompa Loompa infant line?), but then you put them in impossible places. Like the crotch or back. Have YOU, sir or madam, ever actually had to dress a baby? Here’s a little tip: THEY MOVE. A LOT! AND SCREAM. A LOT. So although we appreciate those cute little flower shaped buttons on the back of Sally’s dress, you really didn’t do us any favors. Next time, try snaps buddy.

2. Shoes with buckles. DUH! Guess who has to bend over 100000000000 times (because what child doesn’t take his shoes off every chance he gets) to re-buckle those bad boys? It’s not you!!! And guess who has to squint just to see those minuscule holes that may or may not go all the way through to the other side of the leather? That’s right, NOT YOU. We are trying to raise independent children who can put their shoes on and off by them selves. We want our children to have a strong sense of self-worth and have a solid self esteem. And honestly, we just get tired of buckling those stupid little shoes. Over and over and over again when we could be (sipping a daiquiri) unloading the dishwasher. If you want me to purchase more of your product, take that silver buckle and ______________________________ (insert whatever makes you feel better) and add some Velcro please.

3. Belted/buttoned Toddler Pants. Have you ever heard of potty training? Under no circumstances should any clothing item for toddlers have a belt or a button fly. You might as well call them “Wet Your Pants” Pants if you are going to pull a stunt like that. Are you some sadistic freak you wasn’t potty trained until you were 4 and want the rest of us to suffer, too? If you are going to keep making clothes like that, I am going to start sending you a few things. Like my bathmats soaked in urine because my poor child couldn’t pull his pants down fast enough BECAUSE HE IS TOO YOUNG FOR A BUTTON DUH! And some Disney Princess panties, Circo skirts, and Gymboree capris that smell like a public restroom BECAUSE YOUR PUT A BELT ON THEM MY DAUGHTER IS TOO YOUNG FOR JERK.

I think we should petition the manufacturers and make sure that at least half the people designing our kids toys and clothes, I don’t know, actually have children. I am sure that breaks all sorts of Equal Opportunity Employment laws, but I really don’t care. Perhaps I should design a uniform for them. I envision a jumpsuit that only unzips from the back. Sorry you couldn’t reach it fast enough on your potty break or that Johnny was away from his desk and couldn’t help you. Okay, that is a little too vindictive, but maybe then they would get it

Allison is a mother of three, and will probably have up to five if her sanity holds. She and her hubby live in Atlanta, Georgia, and are enjoying the joys and pains of being parents. Mostly, they just laugh a lot. To read more by Allison, click here.

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Summer is drawing to a close, and it’s time to do a little honest evaluation. What parts of your body would you love to miraculously remove/cure/replace before the next bathing suit season rolls around?

For me, it’s pesky spider veins–those unsightly blue lines that are crisscrossing their way across my legs like a deranged road map. Lovely.

Several of my friends have had veins treated in the past, but their horror stories always scared me off. “Come on,” I thought, “This is 2010! Surely there are better ways to treat veins now-a-days.” So, I did a little research and discovered Veinwave–a quick, in-office procedure that is described as “virtually pain free.” Now we’re talkin’.

Here’s how it works:

Veinwave uses thermocoagulation to heat and close vessels instantly, in a procedure that takes less than 15 minutes to perform and involves no downtime. It’s safe for areas that are traditionally difficult to treat, too–like the face, ankles and knees. To watch a demo, click here.

I had the opportunity recently to visit Harbin Vein Center in Rome, Georgia, to experience Veinwave for myself. Harbin Vein Center specializes in addressing vein issues of all kinds–from sclerotherapy and laser therapy to vascular ultrasound. The office is beautiful and the staff was warm and accommodating. The drive from West Cobb was fast and traffic-free, and I found that the center’s rates ran from one-quarter to one-half the cost of the same procedures in Atlanta-based clinics. Well worth the peaceful drive to Rome!

The Veinwave procedure was quick, and while it wasn’t pain FREE (it felt like a series of little pin pricks), it was definitely endurable and MUCH less painful than the traditional vein treatments my friends endured. Afterward, there was no downtime, no support hose, no pain. Small purple/red lines (that looked like scratches) were visible on the area for about three weeks following treatment. After the area healed, a quick round of touch-ups was necessary to retrace and further eliminate the spider veins…and then, voila! No more road map!

Spider veins run in my family, unfortunately. My mom’s solution is to wear tan hose with her SHORTS and TENNIS SHOES. Love you, Mom, but I think Veinwave is the route I’ll be taking from now on.

For more information Veinwave, or to schedule a consultation with the Harbin Vein Clinic, visit harbinclinic.com/veincenter/ or call 1-706-232-4122.

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The Goods:

With summer quickly slipping away, you’ve got to make these last few weekends count! Ditch the kids (in a loving way), grab some gal pals…and SHOP!

A day spent combing through the shops on Main Street in Acworth is a summer must. Once winter hits, hibernation is what it’s all about, so you better get the shopping monkey off your back while you still can!

Start by popping into the trusty hot spot, Divas and Dames. The magnetic necklaces above are so versatile. Buy a cord and pendant at $20.00, and then mix and match with different magnet inserts at just $3.95 a piece. You’ll never have to go accessory shopping again. (Told you this day would be memorable!)

Stop off a few doors down at Wild Blossoms and pick up a couple of these wine glasses for yourself (or a really deserving friend). They’re personalized, so you always know which is yours (no more relying on lipstick shades to tell your glass from your mother-in-laws). They make an adorable accessory for a kitchen shelf…or, if you can part with them, great Christmas gifts, too.

Wild Blossom, Wine Glasses $18.00 each

Just down the road about a mile on Main Street is a new shopping center, which houses Essentialz: another I-must-stop-in-and-take-a-look shop. After you’ve shopped around a bit, it quickly becomes an I-really-needed-these-three-amazing-purses shop.

When lunch (or dinner depending on your shopping abilities) rolls around, why not bee-bop across the parking lot to Mojave for some gourmet tacos and enchiladas or enjoy some impressive Italiano at Abbondanza? Both restaurants offer foodie-appreciated fare, great deals and patios equipped with super cool fire-pits.

Heck, this is a girl’s day: pull out that brand new wine glass and fill ‘er up! Abbondanza advertises wine specials Monday and Tuesday every week: 1/2 off bottles of wine and more, while Mojave has a ‘Drink of the Week’ to try! Margarita, anyone?

Mojave Southwestern Grill and Margarita Bar

Abbondanza Pizza, Pasta and Wine Bar

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The Gig:

Oh, Pandora, how we love thee! If you own any Pandora jewelry, you know the exquisite workmanship and quality that goes into each intricate piece. And if you don’t own any….well, now’s your chance to select a piece at a great discount (which, by the way, is rare. Pandora “sales” are few and far between indeed). The best part is that this Pandora event is being hosted at Glitz and Glamour–the gorgeous, chic, LOCALLY owned jewelry store on quaint Main Street in historic Acworth. Fabulous bling at a fabulous price at a fabulous little shop. What could be better?!

The Guide:

EVENT: “Fall in love with PANDORA.” Receive a free PANDORA bracelet ($55 value) with the purchase of $150 or more in PANDORA jewelry. Good while supplies last; limit one per customer.

DATE: September 16-18 only

WHERE: Glitz & Glamour, 4857 North Main Street, Suite 210, Acworth, GA 30101

STORE HOURS: Tuesday-Friday 10:00am – 5:30pm; Saturday 10:00am – 4:00pm; Closed Sunday & Monday

CONTACT: 770.529.4993, www.glitzandglamourinc.com

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I have a weakness for kids’ rooms. They are my favorite rooms to decorate (by a long shot). I think it is because it’s easier to break rules in kids’ rooms. You don’t have to be a grown up – duh they are KIDS’ rooms. They can be whimsical, fun, crazy, over-the-top or tailored, romantic and sophisticated. Like I said – no real rules.

So today I thought I’d share some pretty children’s rooms with you. (Here’s the “hate me” part…these are from my inspiration file where I should have recorded all the links and didn’t…so if any one knows credit info that I don’t include, please leave me a comment…give credit where credit is due, I always say…)

Image above from Full House – the girls’ bedroom

Where do I begin? I love so many things about this room! The pink…I just love pink. The wallpaper behind each bed. The mix of traditional and contemporary…even some lucite….love me some lucite! And the pops of blue and red. mmmmmmm.

Image from Sunset

I love the slipcovered headboards and the soft color palette of ocean blue and white.

Image by Sally Conran

So serene…love the neutral color palette…and all those doors propped against the windows…although let’s face it, once this baby starts moving the doors will have to go.

What I love about this room? It’s modern vibe…industrial and girlie at the same time. The bunk beds. The butterfly mobiles. The twinkle light chandy. And, of course, the oversize photo. Okay, I guess that’s just about everything, huh?

Image from JDesignsSalon

I adore the paper parasols suspended from the ceiling…at my nephew’s wedding they hung a bunch of those parasols from a pergola and I fell in love…when I saw the same idea used in this room? Well…SWOON…what more can I say?

Silhouettes + the black and white palette = perfection

I’ve been dreaming of having a bunk room in my house. I’m seriously considering doing one for my little boys’ room when we buy our next home. Perfect for slumber parties, out of town guests etc. This one is just darling!

I still have to finish Mr. One’s Tween Room…hopefully a post on that later this week…and I have a FAB idea for the Princess’ room that involves repurposing her old baby crib…coming soon.

In the meantime, anyone catch HGTV’s Design Star last night? What’d y’all think? (Lovin’ my grammar? Yeah, I am an editorial assistant IRL…no, seriously, I am.)

Have a lovely day~

The Gig:

What’s old is new again: If only that were true for leftover meatloaf and birthday candles!

The consignment race has started alongside the scramble for school clothes and pre-Christmas shopping (yeah, right).

There are three great consignment sales coming up and we want to fill you in on all the details so you can get your hands on all the pre-loved goodies. Just click the links provided to get directions, more date specifications and further info about the awesome finds.

1. The Kindermart Sale at Smyrna First United Methodist Church beginning Friday, September 17

Let me speak from personal experience when I say, you can find anything here you could ever possibly need or want…even if at the time, what you need is a pair of $6.00, lime green corduroy pants; Third grade was definitely my peak year.

At the Kindermart, you can find great deals on Clothing, Shoes, Swim Wear, Costumes, Indoor and Outdoor Toys, Infant Equipment, Nursery Furniture and Accessories, Books, DVDs, Maternity Clothing, and much more! There’s no pressure to haggle here, folks, and only high quality items are accepted for sale.

1. Wee-Peats Childrens Consignment Sale beginning Wednesday, September 8

What’s better than good ole family service? Wee-Peats is a family owned consignment sale based in Augusta, GA whose mission is to “provide a Christian atmosphere enabling us to serve our family, friends, and community by offering quality and affordable clothing, toys, furniture and equipment,” reaffirms the Ramp family.

A great company with great people…an awesome cause with awesome products. Sounds fabulous, right?!

3. Lil’ Lambs Closet Children’s Clothing Consignment starting Thursday, September 9

If you don’t know about Lil’ Lambs, then listen close! Lil’ Lambs is one of Marietta’s longest running church consignment sales: around for more than 15 years, Lil’ Lambs sells quality, gently-used children’s clothes and toys, as well as maternity clothes, children’s books and videos and nursery items. Go and catch a sneak peek on Thursday the ninth and shop ’til you drop the next day!

Lil’ Lambs is the perfect joint to find some pre-loved treasures for your little ones, indeed!

These folks know how to throw a consignment sale, so get your game face on and get ready to shop; Only this time you can forgo the buyer’s remorse and bank account slump that normally follow a spree like the one you’re sure to experience at these great consignment sales!

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We are pleased to announce the birth of our new little events calendar on BlackDressRedWagon.com. The calendar was born at 9:15 a.m. on Wednesday, August 25, and is doing great. To take a peek at her, just click the “Happenings” tab above. She is open for submissions for any community events (open houses, special promotions/sales, holidays, fairs/festivals, seminars, etc.), so please feel free to e-mail calendar@blackdressredwagon.com at any time with event information (date, time, 1-3 sentence description and purpose, cost, contact information). She just requests a two-week lead time to post events.

Our little calendar is looking forward to proudly displaying all of your upcoming happenings. (We can already tell that she’s a sweetie.)

Proud Parents,

The Little Black Dress Team

~her first photo~

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So, for the cover shoot of the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, Oprah wore these gorgeous Coliseum earrings by lia sophia. She liked ‘em so much that she asked if she could buy them. And since she’s Oprah, she did. But you don’t have to be a gabillionaire talk show star genius entrepreneur to get a pair. You just have to comment on this post to WIN them!

You can enter THREE (or more!) times. Here’s how:

1. Entry ONE: Click here to view lia sophia’s hostess benefits (what you get if you host a par-tay). Then, comment on THIS post, telling us what you ‘ppreciate about the perks.

2. Entry TWO: Become a fan of Little Black Dress/Little Red Wagon on Facebook (www.facebook.com/blackdressredwagon) and/or follow us on Twitter (@blackdressmag).

3. Entry THREE (and FOUR, FIVE, SIX….): Invite a FRIEND (or two or three) to enter to win! Just tell them to post a comment below with YOUR NAME in it, and you’ll BOTH receive an extra entry!

Just make sure you COMMENT ON THIS POST, telling us which of the above you did! If you did one, leave one comment. If you did two, leave two comments…and so on. The more comments, the more chances to score the coolest conversation starter ever: “Hey, guess what Oprah and I have in common?….”

One lucky duck will be announced via FB and on BlackDressRedWagon.com on September 5. And, if you just can’t wait to win a pair, you can always give our girl Melissa Sarathy a ring and order them directly from her for just $44. (If you think Oprah’s got it goin’ on, wait til you meet Melissa.)

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