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extending spiritual hospitality.

Have you ever been in a conversation with a friend or spouse and realized that you couldn’t wait for them to finish their story so you could share yours? That sounds awful to admit, doesn’t it? Don’t worry; we’ve all done it. Sometimes in the breakneck pace of our world, the art of true listening is lost. We hurry through life until hurrying becomes the norm, and we don’t even realize that we’re rushing the important things–like conversations with those we love.

As we journey through life with others, we need to extend an invitation, what Henry Nouwen calls, “spiritual hospitality,” where we invite others to share themselves by listening. Listening without judgment or debate, but instead with grace and acceptance. Listening without an agenda to be heard, but rather with the goal of deepening our understanding of the other person.

Offering the gift of spiritual hospitality requires slowing down and turning our attention toward the person we want to get to know, inviting him or her to reveal themselves, and enjoying the discovering.

Teri Cress is a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in Christian sex therapy. She practices at Restored Hearts Counseling, a Christian counseling practice located at 2655 Dallas Hwy, suite 310, in Marietta, where she works with couples, individuals and families. Teri and her husband of 27 years enjoy the challenges of extending spiritual hospitality while raising four children! Please feel free to call Teri at 404-511-5265, or e-mail her at teri@restoredheartscounseling.com. Visit www.restoredheartscounseling.com for more information.

Tagged: inspiration, guidance, wisdom, parenting, marriage, self-care, counseling, therapists

dealing with inevitable change.

One guarantee in life is that change is inevitable. Spring changes into summer, children change to adults, color changes to gray, one day changes to another. It seems the older we get, the faster life goes by, and the quicker change happens.

Flexibility and grace are qualities that serve the individual well as they journey in a changing world. But oftentimes, we get stuck and become ridged, unable to bend with the changes of life. A key concept that can help keep us emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy in the face of change is the thought that we, ourselves, are always changing. As life presents various challenges and experiences, they are not to be resisted, but rather welcomed as forces that shape us into a new form. We are not the same people we were yesterday, and we will not be the same people tomorrow. 

So, the next time you feel yourself fearing or resisting a major (or minor) change in your life, relax and remind yourself that change is okay. Just like the cool breath of fall after a sweltering summer, change can be embraced with arms wide and face uplifted.

Teri Cress is a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in Christian sex therapy. She practices at Restored Hearts Counseling, a Christian counseling practice located at 2655 Dallas Hwy, suite 310, in Marietta, where she works with couples, individuals and families. Teri and her husband of 27 years enjoy the challenges of fostering a healthy marriage while raising four children! Please feel free to call Teri at 404-511-5265, or e-mail her at teri@restoredheartscounseling.com. Visit www.restoredheartscounseling.com for more information.

Tagged: inspiration, guidance, wisdom, parenting, marriage, self-care, counseling, therapists

Dare to Reclaim Your Chosenness

On a recent afternoon, during my toddler’s much-needed nap, I found myself sitting at my desk in my quiet house with nothing to do. A miracle, indeed! Rather than sprint to the washing machine to try (in vain) to make a dent in the laundry pile, I opted instead to enjoy my sunny window, my peaceful home and my new journal.

In my journal, I copied a passage from Henri J.M. Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved. This simple thought on that silent afternoon stopped me in my tracks:

“We have to dare to reclaim the truth that we are God’s chosen ones, even when our world does not choose us. As long as we allow our parents, siblings, teachers, friends and lovers to determine whether we are chosen or not, we are caught in the net of a suffocating world that accepts or rejects us according to its own agenda of efficiency and control.

“The great spiritual battle begins–and never ends–with the reclaiming of our chosenness…. Our preciousness, uniqueness and individuality are not given to us by those who meet us in clock-time…but by the One who has chosen us with an everlasting love, a love that existed from all eternity and will last through all eternity.”

You are chosen. Regardless of what you do or have done, have been or are becoming– you are chosen. Now that’s quite a nice thought for a quiet afternoon.

Knowing Your True Self

When I was expecting my firstborn, the most common comment I received when people would gawk at my over-sized belly was, “Oh boy, things are about to CHANGE!” They always said it like that was a bad thing–like I should go fill my pantry with canned goods and hole up for the inevitable nuclear fallout I was about to experience.

They were right that things did change when my son was born. Everything changed! But, and I know every mom out there would agree, my life changed for the better. It morphed into something richer and deeper than I knew possible. As cliched as that sounds, it is so inexplicably true.

I honestly feel like I am more “myself” now than I have ever been, and while I am not sure if my comfort in my own skin is due to becoming Mommy, to having recently completed another decade in my life (grrr), or just to natural maturity, it feels nice to be a little more kindred with myself.

Here is a prayer by George Appleton, shared with me by a dear confidante and mentor, which speaks to this…

Give me a candle of the

Spirit, O God,

as I go down into the

deep of my own being.

Show me the hidden things,

Take me down

to the spring of my life,

and tell me my nature

and my name.

Give me the freedom to

grow so that I may

become my true self,

the fulfillment of the

seed which You planted

in me at my making.

Out of the deep

I cry unto thee, O God.

Amen.

Here’s to learning our natures and our names. Here’s to becoming our true selves.

The Big O.

One of the healthiest thoughts we can have is the understanding that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. This is why we value our families, communities, churches and teams. When we join with others, we realize that the collective whole is greater than the individual.

This is also true in the marital relationship, where two people join together to create a powerful force. When spouses live for self-gratification, however, the force becomes a negative and divisive one. Dissatisfaction results. In a healthy marriage, the opposite is true. Each individual is valued, and a powerful phenomenon occurs. I call it “the big O.”

“The big O” is not ourselves, and it’s certainly not Oprah. It’s not Oreos…or any other “O” you may have on your mind. The big O is oneness. Oneness is the quality of being unified and unique. In a healthy marriage, spouses live to make much of each other. The way they relate creates a bond of oneness, whether expressing with their bodies what words cannot through physical intimacy, or sharing a glass of milk and a pile of Oreos.

Oneness is obtained through mutual surrender, humility, respect, purpose, friendship and love. In these challenging times, one of the greatest strengths a couple can share is the power of the big O.

Teri Cress is a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in Christian sex therapy. She practices at Restored Hearts Counseling, a Christian counseling practice located at 2655 Dallas Hwy, suite 310, in Marietta, where she works with couples, individuals and families. Teri and her husband of 27 years enjoy the challenges of fostering oneness while raising four children! Please feel free to call Teri at 404-511-5265, or e-mail her at teri@restoredheartscounseling.com. Visit www.restoredheartscounseling.com for more information.

Tagged: inspiration, guidance, knowledge, wisdom, counseling, therapy, marriage, self-care

a deep breath

The last couple of days, we have experienced unseasonably cooler weather that has been like a breath of fresh air from the typical oppressive Atlanta humidity. Life can often be like the oppressively hot and humid days of summer, leaving us longing for a cool breeze. Taking time to care for your soul is like a breath of fresh air. It fills our lives with life-giving oxygen and energy. It renews us so we can carry on when life seems full of more dog days than breezes.

So what brings us a breath of fresh air? What care do we give our souls that allows us to feel renewed? Just as there are many days of summer, so too, there are many ways we can experience soul care. In the weeks to come on this site, we will be sharing various ways to take a deep breath and experience soul care. For now, spend some time outside. Give yourself permission to fling your arms wide and and take a deep breath of fresh air. Enjoy the breezes as they come. And remember that in life–no matter how hot, how humid, how suffocating things may seem– an unexpected breeze may be just around the corner.

Teri Cress is a marriage and family therapist with a specialization in Christian sex therapy. She practices at Restored Hearts Counseling, a Christian counseling practice located at 2655 Dallas Hwy, suite 310, in Marietta, where she works with couples, individuals and families. Teri and her husband of 27 years enjoy the challenges of fostering oneness while raising four children! Please feel free to call Teri at 404-511-5265, or e-mail her at teri@restoredheartscounseling.com. Visit www.restoredheartscounseling.com for more information.

Tagged: inspiration, guidance, wisdom, parenting, marriage, self-care, counseling, therapists

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