by Laura Whitlow

I rarely leave home. I just don’t go anywhere very often – other than Target! Ha! I mean I rarely LEAVE home…on a trip.

So it’s been fun and crazy that in the last couple of weeks I have gone on vacation with my family and then just recently went to Kentucky to my mom and dad’s house. I am the oldest of five kids and we have ended up scattered all over the place, but we try and get together when one of us turns 40.

Well, number three in the lineup turned 40 in MAY and has been in denial until recently. But she finally decided that we might as well have a party so we all met at mom and dad’s. Just us girls and mom. It was WONDERFUL!! We laughed and ate and shopped and crafted and had a blast.

Now…I will admit that I was a bit apprehensive about the trip. All my sisters and my mother are about a size 2 (I am not) and gorgeous (I am not) and fashionable (I am not) and so I was a bit stressed. I decided that since I had no time to lose 700 pound, have Botox and a complete makeover, and sign up for the TV show What Not to Wear, I would try to control one area that needed help that I thought I could handle. I left early on my trip with the goal of purchasing…a new bra!

I believe my last purchase in this particular area was right around the time Emma was born…and she’s 6 years old now. Gravity has not been kind. Even WITH my brassier on, my “ladies” are right above my knees. So I head to the store and start trying things on. Thirty minutes later I decide I am correct in assuming that I am size freak-of-nature!!!

But with the perky competition I am about to face, I decide to throw caution to the wind and request a personal fitting. Oh my.

The sales woman was LOVELY. Asked me to be patient as she suppressed her gag reflex – ha! No, she asked me to be patient as she measured, filled in the little chart and announced that my size is not made in the continental USA. Kidding! She said (bless her heart) that she was thinking she had made a mistake, as I did not look as big to her as the size she came up with would indicate. So we started guessing.

I tried on 5,000 bras. I felt like Goldilocks and the three bears…this one’s too big, this one’s too little, this one’s too hot – haha! Sweet saleswoman finally said to me, ”Well…this is certainly a fun little challenge, isn’t it sweetie?” Um, NO – it is NOT fun…nor is it a LITTLE challenge. It is a big ‘ole stupid crazy demoralizing mess.

Right as I decide I would attend the “girl party” with my stunning family going commando-on-top (what do you call going bra-less?), I try one that seems to be semi-comfortable. I look in the mirror and realize that, thanks to this bra, I am now defying gravity in a pretty impressive manner. I have FOUND her!

I still have many appearance issues to deal with, but my boobies are now trapped, lifted, supported, bound, and controlled. I leave the dressing room gently cradling the one bra on earth that kinda works for me, cheerfully humming Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up.”

The girl trip was fabulous! And the unexpected plus to this purchase is that now that I am home, I am happy to announce that I no longer have to scoot out of the way or kneel on any part of my anatomy as I paint!

about the author

Laura Whitlow only moonlights as a blogging comedian. Her day job is refurbishing well-worn furniture and taking pieces from ordinary to extraordinary with a fabulous business named Rethunk Junk.

Here’s a little about Laura in Laura’s words: I am a busy mother of five – four girls and a boy – ages 17 to 6. Luckily I have horrible insomnia so I can paint at night (can you hear the sarcasm?). I have been married for 24 years to an incredible man (in case you’re trying to do the math – yes – I got married when I was five). I never watch TV, love to play the piano and I almost always have music playing somewhere!

the gig:

Let’s all close our eyes and imagine it’s about six months from now. Mid-January hits, you feel the weight of the cakes, pies and family-style dinners from the holidays settling in around your hips, thighs and tummy. The pants are tight, afternoons are sluggish, and walking up a flight of stairs has you winded. After all, you haven’t exercised since the kids went back to school. So, what do you do? Sign up for a gym membership, cut out the junk food, go buy new workout clothes, walk three miles a day, and hang pictures of skinny girls in bathing suits on your refrigerator.

We all do it. But, this year, what if you actually just ended the summer fit and stayed that way all year long? Crazy, we know! But, we want this for you (and for us!), so we found three easy (and fun!) ways to keep you in shape, even as the summer months disappear.

Kaizen Fitness – Girls Play Games

Kaizen Fitness Girls Play Games

There are two things that make exercise easier and more enjoyable: a group of friends working with you and a professional telling you what to do. Scarlet Knight, personal trainer and founder of Kaizen Fitness, created a super-fun way to have both. Girls Play Games is a circuit training group workout, where you and up to 11 of your friends relive your childhood recess days through hula hooping, bean bag tossing, hopscotching and playing other memory-invoking, yet calorie-burning, games. It’s a great way to get rid of fat, as well as stress!

Body by Baby – Let’s Roll Stroller Workout

If you are a new mama, you know that with the love, joy and happiness your newborn brought into your life, she also gave you 15 stubborn pounds you just can’t lose. Body by Baby, a new pre and postnatal fitness company, was created with busy new moms like you in mind. They want for you to become a fitness role model for that little bundle of joy as she grows (and you, hopefully, shrink!). Let’s Roll is a stroller fitness class that allows you to burn fat while still keeping your baby entertained. Check out this workout guide to get a taste of what they have to offer!

Life Quest Fitness – Zumba Class

Life Quest Zumba

Feel like gettin’ your dance on? You can groove your way to fit in a Zumba Class at Life Quest Fitness (formerly Gold’s Gym). This Latin-inspired dance workout is one of those that makes you asks questions like, “Is this really exercise?” That is, until you stop for a minute and feel your heart pounding and the sweat dripping. Classes are offered weekday evenings and Saturday mornings. So, try a class and let your inner dancer out!

the guide:

Kaizen Fitness – Girls Play Games

cost: $50 per session

for more info or to schedule a session: 678.697.3358 or kaizenfitenssonline.com

Body by Baby – Let’s Roll

cost: $35 for Cobb residents, $45 for non-residents

for more info: 404.234.4228 or bodybybabyfitness.net

Life Quest Fitness – Zumba Class

for more info: 678-973-0635

address: 3362 Acworth Summit Blvd., Acworth, GA (across from NCG Cinema)

Last night, I had an appointment– my first–at Dyer and Posta Salon on Chastain Road in Kennesaw. Having tried one or two (or 200) salons in my day, I can honestly say that my experience at Dyer and Posta ranked among the tippy top.

Co-owner Stephen Posta is an artist; he and business partner Amanda Dyer have created a truly unique salon experience in our little suburban corner of the world. In fact, the salon feels refreshingly urban: very industrial-loft chic. It’s no wonder they boast an extensive list of clients who drive from–get this–Buckhead and Vinings.

And, it’s also no wonder that Dyer and Posta has caught the attention of national style icons like Elle (featuring the salon in their August 2011 issue), Allure (featuring them this September), Fitness (featured the salon’s ombré color technique in their June 2011 issue), and In Style’s Beauty Black Book. This salon has got it. going. on.

So, here: take a little video tour for yourself. Meet Stephen, peek inside this celebrated salon, and see why I woke up this morning and, first: felt pretty (*smile*), and second, knew I had to share my experience with you.

the guide:

600 Chastain Rd., Suite 216

Kennesaw, GA 30144

770.514.1620

www.dyerandpostasalon.com

Mon 10 am – 6 pm

Tues & Thurs 9 am – 9 pm

Wed & Fri 9 am – 7 pm

Sat 9 am – 5 pm

You may be dreaming of a white Christmas, but if that same wish doesn’t apply to your pasty legs, we’ve got an idea for you.

Before that holiday fete or winter cruise, opt for an all-natural (read: no cancer!) spray tan. The key is finding a company that uses a high-end organic product so the result will be healthy, glowing…and nowhere near the streaky Sesame Street-orange that lesser products can produce. (Sorry Ernie, but “pumpkin” is not a universally flattering tone.)

Our favorite spray tan resource is Stephanie Davis, the owner of The Pure Tan, an all-natural, organic tanning company in northwest Atlanta. She offers tans both in her Woodstock studio, as well as in client homes through her mobile tanning service. (She sets it all up in this self-contained little tent…it’s really cool). She even offers tanning parties, so a whole wedding party or gaggle of gals (or guys) can get golden.

So if you want a little holiday glow, get yourself a spray tan, girl. And leave pasty to Frosty.

Want a deal on your tan? Mention Little Black Dress/Little Red Wagon and get 15% off your first spray tan experience! Give Stephanie a ring @ The Pure Tan: 678-234-5554. Or visit www.thepuretan.com.