Who ate the ____?!

Tell me if this scenario has ever played itself out in your house:

You wake up from a decent night’s sleep. You and your little darlings head downstairs to read classic literature (watch an obscene amount of cartoons) and have a healthy, organic breakfast (out of a box).

However, when you pop open the pantry, you notice that the box of Apple Jacks (Apple Dapples if you are frugal) are all gone. First you look harder… maybe they just ended up behind something else. So you start pulling everything out–off the shelf–in hopes of finding that lime green box. Only it is not turning up!!!!

Meanwhile, Child senses your emotional crisis and starts asking for his breakfast. Mommyyy, I am STARVING!!! Can I PLEEEASE have my cereal?? Pleeeeease!!!

The pseudo polite and pseudo whiny request turns into a full on tantrum. (Insert lots of crying, lots of whining, lots of negotiations, lots of pleading, begging, desperation, etc.) It is not pretty and you are not proud. But in all fairness, you get pretty miffed when SOMEONE drinks the last cup of coffee before you have had enough, so you understand your child’s frustration a little bit.

Eventually Child is placated with a bowl of Rice Crispies (Rice Poofs if you are frugal) and order is somewhat restored to the house. Then Daddy comes downstairs. He pops open the pantry and grabs the box of Rice Crispies. And then he says, “Oh yeah, I ate the last of the Apple Jacks last night. Can you pick up some more at the store?”

Boo. Hiss. Glaring evil eye looks. Mental death threats.

Inside your head (and possibly out loud) you scream “HOW COULD YOU?! You know the Apple Jacks are for Child! I wanted Apple Jacks, too, but instead I had oatmeal. Plain. Do you know what I just went through??? (No, you were sleeping.) Why would you eat the last of the Apple Jacks? Why?!! Okay, so you live here and have just as many rights as Child. And, okay, so you have a great job that pays for pretty much everything we have. And, yes,  you are a wonderful husband and father. BUT DON’T EVER EAT THE APPLE JACKS AGAIN OR I WILL RIP OUT YOUR EYES WITH A PLASTIC TODDLER SPOON.

There is a secret code that certain food items–although you, the adult, purchased them and also love them–ARE NOT FOR YOU. It is just understood. You open the fridge for an afternoon snack, or midnight snack, and see that cup of chocolate pudding. DON’T TOUCH IT! It is not really for YOU, the caregiver, the provider, the nurturer. The plain yogurt with absolutely NO flavor is for you. Know your place.

Allison is a mother of two…almost three, and will probably have up to five if her sanity holds. She and her hubby live in Atlanta, Georgia, and are enjoying the joys and pains of being parents. Mostly, they just laugh a lot. To read more by Allison, click here.