Okay, okay, so you KNOW whether you are a recently married couple or one that has already added some branches to the family tree. But, here is a little quiz that points out a few distinctions between these two groups. Tally up your results to see where you land!

1. What time do you usually go out on the weekends?

A. around 9:30 P.M.; nothing fun happens before 10:00!

B. around 6:00 P.M. so that we are home by 9:30 and maybe even asleep.

C. at 2:00 in the afternoon, must be back by 2:45; only for diaper runs

2. What statement best represents your mindset before having “relations” with your spouse?

A. “How long can we make this last?”

B. “How quickly can we get this over with?”

C. “If you touch me I will break you!”

3. What factor best determines whom you hang out with?

A. fun people from work or old college buddies, perhaps

B. how well my kids get along with the other parents’ kids; how good/bad of an influence the other kids are

C. whomever is willing to come over to my house, preferably with food

4. When you pull up to a red light, what typically happens?

A. I still get checked out by young hotties.

B. Young hotties’ eyes immediately wander to the back seat…because there are car seats and Elmo sun visors there.

C. I am reaching for a pacifier, climbing into the backseat if necessary.

5. What channels do you know by heart- no TV Guide necessary?

A. HGTV, MTV, ESPN, CBS

B. Sprout, Noggin, Nickelodeon, Disney

C. Lifetime, soap operas, what was the question??

6. How do you spend a rainy afternoon?

A. BLISS! cuddled up on the couch together, watching movies, lazing about

B. NIGHTMARE! trapped inside with little people who now need craft supplies and blankets for forts STAT.

C. same as any other day…inside

7. On what occasion do you enjoy a cocktail?

A. a glass of wine with dinner to relax after a tough day at the office.

B. a spike in the morning OJ so that I can unwind after a getting the whole family to sit down for breakfast.

C. when I want the baby to sleep well.   (just kidding!)

ANSWERS:

If you have mostly A’s, you are a NEWLYWED. You have been married one or more years but do not yet have children. You and your spouse still go on regular dates and can wear white pants if you feel like it. You do not have to be overly nice to your in-laws for free babysitting. Enjoy!

If you have mostly B’s, you are a PARENT. A date is considered a trip to the grocery store while your mom watches the kids. Your wardrobe is dictated by how well marker comes out of it. And when your mother tells you she thinks your hair looks like crap, you simply smile because you have tickets to the Fox next week and you NEED a night out.

If you have mostly C’s, you have a NEWBORN. You probably fell asleep three times during this quiz and are currently using eye splints like Ulysses to prop your lids open just to read the results. Every spare moment you have you are sleeping (or wishing you were sleeping). There is a barricade — at least for another month– between your side of the bed and your husband’s.