As a parent, there are some very specific questions you want to ask when furniture shopping. Not all of us have the guts to actually verbalize these queries, but here is a list of what we REALLY need to know:
1. If my kid uses the armrest as a Kleenex, is it easy to wipe up, even after 48 hours?
2. How much potty-training-isn’t-going-as-well-as-I-planned urine do you think these cushions can hold?
3. If someone were to jump up and down on this sofa about 10,000 times a day (when no one is watching, of course), how long will it take the frame to dip?
4. Does your Scotchguard treatment guarantee against lipstick, diaper cream, Vaseline, ink pens, regurgitated food items, and liar-liar-pants-on-fire-spill-proof sippy cups?
5. Hypothetically speaking, if someone were to have some carrot shots and chase them with a bottle of milk and then spit all of that up in an orangey, foamy, liquidy hot bath, do you think this couch would survive?
6. Does it have convenient storage pockets underneath the cushions for single socks, hair clips, crumbs, pennies, and/or crackers?
7. Does it covert into a fort?
8. When I lie down on it while my kids are happily playing in the next room, can it make me invisible so I can take a 20-minute power nap without being spotted?
9. On a similar note, does it come equipped with noise reducing headphones that specifically target high pitched screams, crying, cartoons of all sorts, and any toy that makes a noise over and over and over again?
10. Is there a massage feature that will take the kinks out of my back and neck that form after endless hours of laundry, housework, carrying children up and down stairs and schlepping child-related paraphernalia all over the house?
If the correct answer is given for each of the questions above, I’d say you have a very kid-friendly (which really means parent-friendly) piece of furniture!
Allison is a mother of two…almost three, and will probably have up to five if her sanity holds. She and her hubby live in Atlanta, Georgia, and are enjoying the joys and pains of being parents. Mostly, they just laugh a lot. To read more by Allison, click here.
Tagged: parenting, humor, children, marriage, blog, motherhood
How true is that? I’m literally printing this list and taking it with me next time. (I laughed so hard at the fort part.