I would like to preface this point by saying that I truly do ATTEMPT to avoid cursing. Although years ago I might as well have been a sailor, things changed in my life and cursing just didn’t seem as cool or necessary as it had previously. However, when you slam your finger in the fridge or someone cuts you off in traffic, bad things can happen to good people. That being said, there are two major reasons why slipping up in front of your kids should be avoided if at all possible.
Reason # 1 They will inevitably repeat it at a time it will most embarrass you.
Your child is not going to drop something at home when no one but you is around and say “&*^&%!” Oh no, that would be too easy. Instead, they wait until your Baptist mother-in-law is over for a visit or until they are in the middle of a wedding reception dance floor, or better yet, they wait until it is Parent’s Day at preschool.
Reason #2 They will rat you out in a heartbeat.
When asked by the MIL (mother-in-law) or the bride or the teacher where they heard such a word, they are going to say Mommy. You hope they will say T.V. or that kid down the street, or maybe even Daddy, but that is not how these things work. So there you are- busted in front of a dreaded audience that now thinks of you as THAT Mom.
So what are we to do? The best choice is to choose your words carefully and not cuss at all. Well, that may work for some of you, but I lack that level of self control. When I stub my toe, you might as well cover your ears. My solution: the fictitious cuss word. We all have them. Our parents had them, too. Here are a few that come to mind:
- Skittles
- F-bomb (okay this one is still bad)
- Snap
- Dab-nab-it
- Fudge (thanks, Christmas Story)
- Spit (careful with this one)
They don’t make you feel quite as good saying them out loud, but they sure do keep you out of trouble. No one wants their 5-year-old getting in trouble for Mommy’s potty mouth.
Oh fiddle faddle, I just spilled coffee on the keyboard.
Allison is a mother of two…almost three, and will probably have up to five if her sanity holds. She and her hubby live in Atlanta, Georgia, and are enjoying the joys and pains of being parents. Mostly, they just laugh a lot. To read more by Allison, click here.
Tagged: parenting, humor, children, marriage, blog, motherhood
My fav is “blast”. Buzz Lightyear says it so it must be safe. Right?
SO funny and SO TRUE. Thanks for the alternative expletive suggestions. Skittles is my new fave.
I will have to remember this when sitting in our lovely Atlanta traffic jams! Great post!